dayum its been a long time since i've been on xanga.  right now i'm at my boi's parents house.  he's working with his daddyo.  yeap and its his b-day tomorrow.  hmmm...what to talk about.  oh yeah exo is going to have birthday party on the 31st of may.  i hope she doesn't go to new york instead of kicking it with her dear dear friends. 

oh yeah as most of you kno i'm not with paul anymore.  if ya'll did read all my other entries all that bs n his sweet talk wasn't forreal.  if ya'll have a cute man now n for some reason all the cute guys you get with cheat on you then its time to look for an OKAY guy cause you knoe for a fact that they won't break ur heart n keep you happy.  thas how i am now.  i gave my ex my heart n i know a piece of me will always be with him.  its just time to move on to bigger n better things in life.  this year i'm thinking of taking nursing classes. 6 months?  no prob.  for the people who never believed in me like my ex, all i have to say is i can make it and i'll just shove it up ur ass while ur changing diapers!  no offense but you deserve it cause what you did to me n how i took everything ur parents said to me even tho god knoes all i said was true.  if anyone should be mad it should be me.  u fucked up on me so many times. i was blind.  i covered up for you, i was there for you when you thought no one was.  so there.  now that i think of it, i should have let you go long time ago.  its not that i regret it, i was just stoopid to think that you were the one for me........

well damn...he failed that test...i still didn't let him go....the love of my life left me...well he's around but left my heart behind....he kalled me in the morning before he went to that lockdown house...then the next day he kalled me before he went to skool....he was about to cry....well i think he did cause i knoe that him n his sister have this tight bond...and yeah the money she was saving to go to hawaii she gave to him....he got all emotional....i might ask her to come with me on saturday so we kan bring him lunch cause i knoe that will make him happy to see her....i'm still around...and i knoe he won't trade me for that pear shaped bitch....

Okay well me n exo had a conversation the other night..  she made me realize a lot…don’t let one guy bring you down…last night was a test…..he thinks its immature n unkalled for…but I don’t think it is…..i gave this guy my heart….and more…I don’t want to count the times or the things I’ve done for him cause I knoe that would be hella wrong….you don’t do things n count em….you do things out of the goodness of ur heart….i thought to myself….why am I still around when all he does is make me cry every night….doesn’t he feel my pain?  He tells me he loves me but I don’t see any kind of love that he’s supposed to show….he loves me but doesn’t wanna be with me….he loves me but kan’t kall me for shit….he loves me but kan buck other bitches….is that how you show ur love to sumone?  No…. I knoe everyone who knoes me or us thinks we’re gonna get back together sum day….i don’t think that anymore….i gave up on him….my love for him is slowly turning into not wanting to….i hope that one day he realizes that there WAS sumone who was there….that there was sumone who gave her heart purely….someone who was there no matter what n loved him n forgave him for everything he’s ever done…..i’m gone now….i was taken for granted….i had my heart n mind played with…now its enough….he’ll realize what he had and that it was good….but lost it all…..